So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
The Olympian is in my bed
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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