well I can't set my house on fire every night
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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