Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize