But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
