just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
one might say we're banned from that church
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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