I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
