Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
