Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
420 ftw
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I have feelings that need drinking.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
