he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Randomize