the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
