she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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