who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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