Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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