I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Randomize
