i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
