it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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