Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Randomize
