I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
