So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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