did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
