Im at strip club and am horny
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize