My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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