Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Randomize
