Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
My vagina just recognized that song.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
