Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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