i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Damn victory sex feels great
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
