my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
