I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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