Who wears a wallet chain?!
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I think pants incapable of making pants work
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
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