Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize
