Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
