I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
There r osticjed everywhere
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
