Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Randomize
