its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
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