You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize