someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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