Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
