I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
