well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
