Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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