Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Randomize
