i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
