happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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