My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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