at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
