isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
