i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
