i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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