I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
