I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I can text with my tongue
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
It's rum buckets o'clock
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
