when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
