Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize