Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Randomize
