All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
