the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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