dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
