Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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