She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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