just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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