Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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