i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
You're earring is so big in my mouth
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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