I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
