Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
