are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Randomize
