I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
