We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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