I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
