I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
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