Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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