Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
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