i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
