Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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