Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
