it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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