He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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