How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
