Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
