And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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