it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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